The Road...

I'm already failing at my attempt to post one blog a week for the entire year. I have not even begun to start my work for the lubricated zine. Alas, but i will not quit and i will strive to be better in my goals.

I'm sitting here thinking about this past 2 weeks. I've been back in colorado springs now for a few days and i cringe when i say the word "HOME." I live here. I work here. I play here, but i don't feel as though this town is my home.

I feel more alive and natural and more of MYSELF when on the road, traveling. In a strange town full of strange people I feel without my shell of insecurity and it is there that i can truly be free and truly be myself. I don't care about the embarrassment of being me, and my mistakes and misgivings. Who knows if the people i meet on the road, if i shall ever see them again. To them i can be anyone or anything. Its a truly freeing experience.

I know so many people so desperate and so sure that life will be better when they leave their hometowns and hit the road for brighter lights and bigger cities, but the majority of them are just running from themselves and who they are. They can restart and recreate themselves in the way that they see fit. That's what i did when I moved to Colorado 8.5 years ago. Its not always been easy, but I'm a changed man from that insecure little boy who packed up all his belongings and hit the road.

I sat in the seat of the van and as I saw America flash before my eyes, I just sat and watched. I sat and soaked it all in, the sights, sounds and smells. I rarely sleep for fear of missing something.

In the strange towns I sometimes wandered. So full of excitment and anticipation. I was at home. I was free. Its the gypsy blood in me flowing free. No longer confined to the mountain town I live in.

I love it in Colorado and i do good work and have good friends, but its not my home. My home is a two lane highway in the middle of nowhere and it calls my name ever so softly, always yearning for me to return to it.

I will return and I'll return not soon enough..... But for now, I'll live and die in Colorado... But the road will always be my home.