I've written for zines and random websites and other projects for years. I always find myself writing reviews. Oh reviews, what a pain in my ass. I'm a pretentious fuck on any given day. I'm overtly opinionated and I despise most pop culture, making me the near perfect realization of The Simpson's Comic Book Guy.
The sad revelation of this all is however, that I am a terrible reviewer. I can almost always tell you what and why I despise a movie, book, comic, whatever.... But the problem I so often run into is that i can never quite elaborate what i LIKE in the item to be reviewed. I just LIKE it, or in a rare case, LOVE in an item.
I'm sitting here drinking the highly anticipated RANGER IPA from the almighty "craft" brewery New Belgium, and I'm debating how to describe this mostly satisfactory beer. I like it. It is an ok beer, and believe me, I'm a beer FAN. I love beer. I love the good hoppy flavor of an IPA, but as i sip on this newly released item, I find the best word to describe my feelings towards it as, "Eh."
The very first thing that jumped out at me about this beer was not even the beer itself, but rather the packaging. As a "pretend" graphic designer, I have become a sucker for great design. Luckily for me, the craft brewery world is a haven for us Graphic Design fans. Almost every craft brew out there has very, very incredible graphic design. Its what ultimately sells the beer. You can not judge a beer by its bottle, but it sure doesn't hurt when the beer bottle looks so damned.... DELICIOUS.
With the New Belgium's Ranger, the graphic design is a departure from the standard fare of Fat Tire and 1554, which the RANGER also signifies the direction of this said beer. Its simple. Its elegant and GREEN, green being the company's main objective of saving the environment through its wind turbine technology and brewing standards. The Bright green sets us up for the statement that the Helvetica font DRIVES HOME. This isn't a fancy beer, but yet it is a sophisticated departure. It is something elegant and made with care, but simple care.
Unfortunately, that is the only thing i Love about this beer. Don't get me wrong. Its not an awful beer and I kind of like it in the same way i feel about Sandra Bullock films. If I found myself in a liquor mart, this would be far from my first choice. For me, It is just too damned easy and simple. Its the Transformers of the IPA world. Dumbed down and brought to the masses without the excellence it deserves. Its not a great beer, and its rather disappointing.
I am a fan of hops and the hoppier the beer the better. I rarely find an IPA to be particularly "bitter," but that is my simple taste buds. I love the way the hops hit the taste buds JUST RIGHT and excite them in a way that only encourages me to ingest more.
With the Ranger, it has a calm, cool, mild Hoppy flavor that is easy to drink, but it does not scream out to my senses beckoning for more of that great flavor. What i really want is a hops explosion. I want more, more, more!!
I'm not the reviewer who is going to tout colors and explain the intricacies of the flavors and what makes it so great. I can't explain the nuances of each little bite and taste. I just know its not enough for little ole me. I just want more flavor and more punch. I want something more like a Dale's Pale Ale, that while isn't an IPA is a hops explosion. The Ranger is an unfortunate Hops dud.
I have found that New Belgium is the beginner's craft beer. Its the dominant force in the market place, and some no longer regard it as a craft beer, and regard it as more of a new force on the same lines as Coors and Budweiser.
When i first came upon NB's flagship beer, Fat Tire, I was a newbie beer drinker. Back then, I absolutely HATED beer. A far cry from the fan i am today, but then, one taste of a beer and i could feel the acid backfiring through my esophagus. It was around these times, that i was gently turned away from Bud light and Coors and slowly turned towards and much better style of beer, and since i was living in Colorado at the time, I was turned on to New Belgium. My introduction to New Belgium and Fat Tire opened to me a world of smaller, better tasting, micro and craft breweries.
With that in mind i often think of New Belgium as a beer fan's gateway beer to excellence. In the same regard as The Offspring and Green Day opened the gates of the punk rock world to millions of rebellious little skate board kids, New Belgium did for beer.
As i sit here drinking this brand new RANGER IPA, sipping away, I still think to myself, "Eh, I've had better," but i can't help but think that perhaps this simple, elegant brew will change the face of the IPA market forever. Opening it up to new and different people and markets and imaginations.
For those of you who have yet to make the jump into the world of IPA's, I highly recommend this beer. Its worth a try, but for those of you who are more seasoned beer drinkers like myself, I would instead recommend the Breckinridge's small batch Double IPA. Delicious. And personally, I am a great fan of Oskar Blue's and their non-IPA, but uber-hoppy, Dale's Pale Ale.
No beers were harmed during the writing of this blog.
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