Saturday, February 27, 2010

At work this morning a coworker asked me if i was hungover. I simply replied "Its Saturday." That seemed to be explanation enough.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

The Road...

I'm already failing at my attempt to post one blog a week for the entire year. I have not even begun to start my work for the lubricated zine. Alas, but i will not quit and i will strive to be better in my goals.

I'm sitting here thinking about this past 2 weeks. I've been back in colorado springs now for a few days and i cringe when i say the word "HOME." I live here. I work here. I play here, but i don't feel as though this town is my home.

I feel more alive and natural and more of MYSELF when on the road, traveling. In a strange town full of strange people I feel without my shell of insecurity and it is there that i can truly be free and truly be myself. I don't care about the embarrassment of being me, and my mistakes and misgivings. Who knows if the people i meet on the road, if i shall ever see them again. To them i can be anyone or anything. Its a truly freeing experience.

I know so many people so desperate and so sure that life will be better when they leave their hometowns and hit the road for brighter lights and bigger cities, but the majority of them are just running from themselves and who they are. They can restart and recreate themselves in the way that they see fit. That's what i did when I moved to Colorado 8.5 years ago. Its not always been easy, but I'm a changed man from that insecure little boy who packed up all his belongings and hit the road.

I sat in the seat of the van and as I saw America flash before my eyes, I just sat and watched. I sat and soaked it all in, the sights, sounds and smells. I rarely sleep for fear of missing something.

In the strange towns I sometimes wandered. So full of excitment and anticipation. I was at home. I was free. Its the gypsy blood in me flowing free. No longer confined to the mountain town I live in.

I love it in Colorado and i do good work and have good friends, but its not my home. My home is a two lane highway in the middle of nowhere and it calls my name ever so softly, always yearning for me to return to it.

I will return and I'll return not soon enough..... But for now, I'll live and die in Colorado... But the road will always be my home.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

New Belgium's Ranger IPA. Good for Begginers.



I've written for zines and random websites and other projects for years. I always find myself writing reviews. Oh reviews, what a pain in my ass. I'm a pretentious fuck on any given day. I'm overtly opinionated and I despise most pop culture, making me the near perfect realization of The Simpson's Comic Book Guy.

The sad revelation of this all is however, that I am a terrible reviewer. I can almost always tell you what and why I despise a movie, book, comic, whatever.... But the problem I so often run into is that i can never quite elaborate what i LIKE in the item to be reviewed. I just LIKE it, or in a rare case, LOVE in an item.

I'm sitting here drinking the highly anticipated RANGER IPA from the almighty "craft" brewery New Belgium, and I'm debating how to describe this mostly satisfactory beer. I like it. It is an ok beer, and believe me, I'm a beer FAN. I love beer. I love the good hoppy flavor of an IPA, but as i sip on this newly released item, I find the best word to describe my feelings towards it as, "Eh."

The very first thing that jumped out at me about this beer was not even the beer itself, but rather the packaging. As a "pretend" graphic designer, I have become a sucker for great design. Luckily for me, the craft brewery world is a haven for us Graphic Design fans. Almost every craft brew out there has very, very incredible graphic design. Its what ultimately sells the beer. You can not judge a beer by its bottle, but it sure doesn't hurt when the beer bottle looks so damned.... DELICIOUS.



With the New Belgium's Ranger, the graphic design is a departure from the standard fare of Fat Tire and 1554, which the RANGER also signifies the direction of this said beer. Its simple. Its elegant and GREEN, green being the company's main objective of saving the environment through its wind turbine technology and brewing standards. The Bright green sets us up for the statement that the Helvetica font DRIVES HOME. This isn't a fancy beer, but yet it is a sophisticated departure. It is something elegant and made with care, but simple care.

Unfortunately, that is the only thing i Love about this beer. Don't get me wrong. Its not an awful beer and I kind of like it in the same way i feel about Sandra Bullock films. If I found myself in a liquor mart, this would be far from my first choice. For me, It is just too damned easy and simple. Its the Transformers of the IPA world. Dumbed down and brought to the masses without the excellence it deserves. Its not a great beer, and its rather disappointing.

I am a fan of hops and the hoppier the beer the better. I rarely find an IPA to be particularly "bitter," but that is my simple taste buds. I love the way the hops hit the taste buds JUST RIGHT and excite them in a way that only encourages me to ingest more.

With the Ranger, it has a calm, cool, mild Hoppy flavor that is easy to drink, but it does not scream out to my senses beckoning for more of that great flavor. What i really want is a hops explosion. I want more, more, more!!


I'm not the reviewer who is going to tout colors and explain the intricacies of the flavors and what makes it so great. I can't explain the nuances of each little bite and taste. I just know its not enough for little ole me. I just want more flavor and more punch. I want something more like a Dale's Pale Ale, that while isn't an IPA is a hops explosion. The Ranger is an unfortunate Hops dud.

I have found that New Belgium is the beginner's craft beer. Its the dominant force in the market place, and some no longer regard it as a craft beer, and regard it as more of a new force on the same lines as Coors and Budweiser.

When i first came upon NB's flagship beer, Fat Tire, I was a newbie beer drinker. Back then, I absolutely HATED beer. A far cry from the fan i am today, but then, one taste of a beer and i could feel the acid backfiring through my esophagus. It was around these times, that i was gently turned away from Bud light and Coors and slowly turned towards and much better style of beer, and since i was living in Colorado at the time, I was turned on to New Belgium. My introduction to New Belgium and Fat Tire opened to me a world of smaller, better tasting, micro and craft breweries.

With that in mind i often think of New Belgium as a beer fan's gateway beer to excellence. In the same regard as The Offspring and Green Day opened the gates of the punk rock world to millions of rebellious little skate board kids, New Belgium did for beer.

As i sit here drinking this brand new RANGER IPA, sipping away, I still think to myself, "Eh, I've had better," but i can't help but think that perhaps this simple, elegant brew will change the face of the IPA market forever. Opening it up to new and different people and markets and imaginations.

For those of you who have yet to make the jump into the world of IPA's, I highly recommend this beer. Its worth a try, but for those of you who are more seasoned beer drinkers like myself, I would instead recommend the Breckinridge's small batch Double IPA. Delicious. And personally, I am a great fan of Oskar Blue's and their non-IPA, but uber-hoppy, Dale's Pale Ale.



No beers were harmed during the writing of this blog.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Boycotting Red Lobster

I just recently heard from my friend Kevin Healey (Proprietor of THE LIVING ROOM in Pueblo, Colorado) that his sister, Korryn Healey, had been terminated from her job at Red Lobster just a few days after announcing to her coworkers that she was pregnant. The company's reasoning? She had a "visible" tattoo. The tattoo in question was on the back of her neck, and from what I understand, was covered by the collar of her shirt, or her hair. The company would not waiver once they discovered she had this tattoo and although it was hidden the majority of the time, terminated her employment anyways.

It sounds incredibly fishy to me, and everyone who has heard this story. I took it upon myself to email Red Lobster's customer service department and let them know about this unjustly termination of their employee. Also, as a tattooed individual, I hate to hear that they terminated this poor girl because of a simple little tattoo.

So I wrote the company a short email, which i have attatched bellow. If you think this sounds as fishy and unjust as I do, I encourage you to do the same thing. Go to the following address:
http://www.redlobster.com/contact_us/default.asp

And let them know what you think. The Red Lobster location is:
3306 N ELIZABETH STREET
PUEBLO, CO 81008
Phone: (719) 544-1000
Fax: (719) 543-6592

You may find Kevin on Facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/KevinTheHealey
AND Korryn on Facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/korryn.healey

Thanks for your help.
-Damian

Here is my email:
I am the friend of a now former employee, Korryn Healey. Just days after Korryn discovered she was PREGNANT, She was terminated for employment for having a Tattoo! (GASP!)

Tattoos are a growing art form amongst many young Americans. As a tattooed individual, I take GREAT offense to this behavior of your company. I have decided that as a Tattooed American, it would be irresponsible for me to continue to eat at your restaurant and because of this horrendous behavior, I will no longer be a customer.

I also know many, many other tattooed individuals and I will use my social networking outlets to further let people know of your company's policies regarding Tattoos, and work on a boycott of your company.

I also feel that the real reason for Korryn's termination was due to her impending pregnancy and the reasoning of her Tattoo was to hide this fact.

I hope that you and your company's top officials can side with us on this matter and to repair this unjustly firing. This is a horrendous matter. I hope you can solve this fairly and justly. Until then, I shall not be a customer of your establishment.
-Damian Burford

Monday, February 1, 2010

(31) Days of Sobriety.

No one thought i could do it, but i proved them wrong. I took the entire month of January off from drinking alcohol and it was as easy as shooting chocolate cake shot.

I was really surprised to the reaction i received from many of my friends and colleagues regarding this personal goal. It was inconceivable for anyone, much less ME, to go an entire month without drinking. Understandably so, My friends like to drink, a lot. I work in a bar. I hang out in bars. I go see bands play all the time, at bars. I'm such a booze hound and I spend so much time around booze that no one thought i could go an entire month. I proved them all wrong!

I'm a recovering straight edge kid. At 19, I had my first alcoholic beverage in Dallas, Texas. Some friends of mine ventured out to see the all-girl rock band, THE DONNA'S. Waiting for the show to kick off drinks were ordered. I ordered a coke, and received a Rum and Coke. I knew it was a Rum and Coke, but sitting there surrounded by some of my favorite people on Earth, Ivy Woods, Lisa Norman & Matt Crowson, and I decided this was the ground breaking moment i needed to expand my horizons. I took a big sip, to little fanfare from my longtime drinking friends, and passed the beverage along for others to finish. The tiny amount of alcohol had little effect on me, but the seal was broken and i was no longer a sXe kid and no longer a booze virgin.

I kept myself sober for the most part. I would occasionally partake of a Hard Cider or a Hard lemonade from time to time, but I rarely drank anything harder, if anything at all. The first shot i took, happened the New Years Eve I decided to finally escape from Shreveport. There was a freakish snowstorm that blanketed the town. It had never snowed in the 15 years i had lived in shreveport and Change was in the air. I had already had a few Hornsby's Apple Ciders, and that evening at the urging my old friend, and former object of lust, Alyssa Rodgers persuaded me to take a shot of Bacardi 151 with her and that one single shot to my alcohol free lifestyle knocked me on my ass...

Still over the years I kept myself mostly sober. I didn't drink and if i did It was a rarity. I moved in 2001 to Colorado Springs. I had just turned 20 and moved with some of my very best friends to a foreign city. The adjustment was not easy, and was much harder than i anticipated. I was an awkward little shit with a bad temper. Letting loose and letting go was not something i knew how to do. I was a fucking mess and my friends i moved with didn't know how to handle me or deal with me, and left me alone a large percentage of the time, which only made the depression even more maddening and I was prone to many bouts of rage. My temper was out of control...

My 21st birthday, we ventured out to Bennigan's (to which my good and best friend Mike Vanderwalker,still gives me shit about.) and i had a few dozen beverages. Almost all of the girly drink variety, to deal with my womanly tendencies. I had just lost my roommate, Jarrod, thanks to my bouts of rage. That and Jarrod was just a hard little bitch to live with. I mean I was no walk in the park either, but damn. Live and learn i suppose.... I was a fucking mess, but it was a damned good birthday party. I climbed upon the table and did the Truffle Shuffle at one point...

That birthday opened up my drinking ways ever so slightly, and with the ever forceful prodding of Mike Vanderwalker, I began drinking more and more often. Still a far cry from my current booze hound antics, but Mike taught me the ways of the Beverage and from that I learned to relax. I learned to let go and be less of an explosive ball of rage and I learned to have fun.

In the past I always had fun without drinking, but I was such an uptight fucking asshole, piece of shit and I could never let go and break out of my shell... Now with my new found drinking buddies I learned to drop the hammer a little bit and let go and lose the uptighted-ness that had personified me.

I still had some crazy bouts with my rage in the years that followed, but over the last ten years, I have relaxed and mellowed out ever so much. I'm no longer that angry little 21 year old depressed kid who knew not how to handle his emotions. Now I'm a mostly stable 28 year old who knows the importance of letting things out and not bottle things up. Not because of Alcohol, per-say, but the friendship and comradery that it brought out in us.

So here I am, 28 years old. Taking an entire month off of drinking 31 LONG days. It was a CAKEWALK. The most challenging thing, was not the allure of the booze, but what to do with myself and my new found spare time. When I get bored now, I head down to the bar and hang out. Drink a few drinks and Hang out with my friends. If they're not there, maybe I'll make some new ones. I spent a vast majority of my spare time hanging out at the Triple Nickel.

The real reason i stopped drinking for these 31 days, wasn't to sober up or clean up my act. It was an attempt to lose weight. It failed miserably. Instead of heading to the bar to ingest a few hundred empty calories of beer, I found myself instead in the refrigerator door looking for that snack to fill my boredom. I ate a lot of ice cream and other garbage. I did read a lot more and i accomplished more work, I felt emotionally better, but I didn't lose any weight. Mostly because the motivation to exercise escaped me.

Regardless I went 31 days. I didn't sit at home, and I went out often. I always drank water or Soda. The first weeks were hard. I'm a socially awkward and sometimes shy guy. Girls will always scare the crap out of me, and unless i know you, I'm not the best conversationalist. I drink way too much coffee to match my already dubious attention span of a gnat. I found myself more often than not, BORED and somewhat not in my elements.

When I'm at home, I hide in my room and hang out by myself. I play on the internet while watching videos and listening to shows. I do 100 things at once, when at the bars, drinking retards this and I find myself more relaxed and calmer. To find myself doped up on large amounts of caffeine at a concert, trying to stand still and pay attention to bands, or hold a meaningful conversation were the most awkward. All I wanted to do was crawl back home into my cave and sit by myself... But what fun would that have been.

After the first week or so, I found myself getting more and more comfortable in my skin and more able to handle the 100 miles a minute roaring of my mind. I felt more calmer and cooler going out and hanging out with my friends as their consumed their delicious beers. I also realized how much i rely on the people i hang out with. Like anyone, I'm more myself around my best of friends and I found myself surrounding myself more with them. It makes me appreciate those people oh so much more. I need to learn to let myself go, with out the use of the social lubricants. I need to learn how to just be myself, ALWAYS, but some social anxiety prohibits this from actually happening without the use of booze. This is definitely something I shall work on in my future.

The last week, the hardest thing has been how much i just fucking want to taste a damned beer. All week long I've craved a Dale's Pale Ale. The delicious, hoppy goodness of a PALE Ale is what i crave. Not the intoxication, not the social lubrication, the TASTE, Flavor and goodness of that delicious canned wonder. To be honest, I craved one of these all months long, but the last week it went into over drive. After work this morning I thought long and hard about stopping by the Liquor store and buying one of these beauties, but in the end I decided that 10am was a little early to start my debauchery.

While I missed the taste of a beer, it was not the thing i missed most during my experiment. What i really missed was that comradery. Try going out and not drinking with a bunch of people who are drinking and heavily. They rarely chastised me and they supported my decision, but I felt left out. I felt like a pariah. When hanging out of them, I felt like i was missing the connection to something more, like that beer or shot was a connecting facet to each other. Perhaps in a way that hallucinogenics make people feel like a part of the universe, I seemed to be on the outside of that connection that connected my friends. There i was on the outside looking in and missing out on that bond....

Regardless, It was a good month and I learned a lot of good things. I'm sure there are things i don't even realize I learned that hopefully have become ingrained in my and my attitude now.

I'm thankful for my days as a Straight Edge kid and my many, many adventures not drinking. Without those fond memories and understanding that i can and will have fun without drinking, I don't think i could have made it. I do not envy those friends of mine who began their experimentation with drugs and alcohol at such a young age that it is inseparable to them, that they never learned how to interact and have fun without the asset of drinking. I very much believe it was those experiences of my youth that have allowed me to stay away from the pitfalls of abuse and alcoholism.

Now its 8:15pm. I'm about to head down to the Nickel to ingest my first Dale's Pale Ale in a month. I can already taste it on my lips. In one weeks time, i head out on the road to adventure as the Merch man for Drag The River. It will be a far cry from the nights of sobriety.... One week of craziness, when the whiskey flows like water and the tabs are on the house. I think i have earned it.